This week we had to share a story that evokes emotion. I was going to try to find a story out there among the millions, but then I thought why not just share a story of mine? This is about my journey right? Hmm so where do I begin…alright I’m the youngest of 4 girls. There’s Elisa, Sarah, Anna, and me. We’re all pretty close but Anna and I have always been super close. Sarah and Elisa are more serious, scholarly (not that they aren’t amazing and fun). Anna and I are the dreamers, the free spirits.
When we were younger of course we’d fight a lot, but secretly I always wanted to be like her. She’s funny, smart, creative, beautiful, and has amazing style. She’s the most influential person in my life, she is the one person who almost completely understood me. I could go to her for anything and vice versa.
At the Gavin DeGraw concert, me left Anna right. Gav D’s amaz y’all need to listen to like every song he’s ever written
6 months ago my life was changed forever, altered in a way I never saw coming. Anna had been living in Arizona for the past year where her boyfriend attended medical school, she was moving back to Chicago where she really loved to live. She had been home only about a month, about to start a new job the next day, when on the morning of August 12th she never woke up.
She was only 24 years old, her whole life ahead of her, a new chapter beginning, dreams still waiting to be fulfilled, not a warning, no signs; it was like something just came in the night and stole the life right out of her.
She was staying with my cousin in Chicago. My mom and I had drove in the day before to spend the day with them and pick up some furniture. How strange to think less than 24 hours after we left them in the city Anna would be gone.
I was in disbelief/shock when I got the phone call. I thought my dad was kidding, how I wish he was. It was like my whole world was shattered. My sister, my best friend, my go to favorite person in this world was gone forever. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like a zombie. How could I ever possibly be happy again?
She wouldn’t be there to go out with me on my 21st birthday or let alone celebrate my 20th birthday with with me. I entered the most important time of my life without her, when I needed her most. I would never get to be her maid of honor and her mine, Our kids can never be best friends. We won’t be in our 40s reminiscing about our 20s. She will never be older than 24.
It’s true that you never really know how it feels to lose someone so close to you until you experience it. I could describe the pain in every way I know how, but until it hits you because it’s happening to you, you can never truly comprehend it.
In your life I’m sure many of you have lost someone close to you and if you haven’t, one day the inevitable will happen. For me it happened decades before I ever thought it would. It’s changed me forever. After her death nothing seemed to matter anymore; all the stupid little things people got worked up about or complained about all seemed so trivial, so petty.
When you lose someone, the grief never ends you just learn to adjust to the way things are now. Everyday I’m still trying to figure it all out, but one thing I know now is that you have to cherish every moment you have with the people you love. I know we hear things like this all the time but it really is true. Tell the people you love that you love them even if they know it and don’t be stubborn to admit your wrongs and be the first to apologize.
When we left Chicago that day, I didn’t think that would be the last time I would ever talk to or see Anna. The last thing I said to her was “bye, I love you” but I didn’t think it’d be goodbye forever. All the things I wish I would’ve said or done. But moving forward all I can do is be thankful that I had a person like Anna in my life even if it was for a far shorter time than I would’ve liked.
I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her. You truly never know the day nor the hour when your time here is over, so don’t worry about those stupid things that seem so important now. In the end they won’t matter. Don’t wait to do the things you want to do, do them now!
Take risks, do things you never thought you would. Live your life to the fullest and find beauty in even the small things. Just stop for a moment take it all in…you’re alive. You have the power to live the life you want to. All your experiences make you the wonderful person you are, no matter how bad things seem never lose hope. Try to learn something from even the worst experiences.
‘Til next time loves, no matter what you’re going through stay strong ❤
Images : 2,3,4